


Light At The End Of The Tunnel

by smolraph



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, simon has fallen on hard times, this is from a prompt, train!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 09:49:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6978418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolraph/pseuds/smolraph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The inside of Raphael's mouth was bitter, as he made his way into the closest compartment, the door opening with a quiet snick.</p><p>It was late at night, and the train was usually empty, but once again he noticed a familiar jacket.</p><p>Raphael contemplated him for a moment, as he ran his tongue over his front teeth. It looked like the same guy from the night before, and he must of gotten on when Raphael was taking his break. It shouldn't make him pause, but it does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light At The End Of The Tunnel

**Author's Note:**

> theironthrone: raph is a conducter and simon is a homeless guy who always a ticket on cold/rainy days (when he can afford it) and just rides the train from the first station to the last just so he won't have to be outside in the cold. raph notices this guy who looks like a drenched puppy and one day decides to sit down next to him and talk, and somehow ends up offering simon shelter for the night. things go from there.

Another day, another night shift.

The sound of Raphael's fingers tapping an offbeat rhythm against the counter is drowned out by the coffee machine whirring to life. It felt like an eternity, as he watched the cup fill up, and it was made worse by just how tired he was.

Coffee was all that kept him going on nights like that.

He didn't bother with milk or sugar, just grabbed the cup the second it was finished and took a sip. He felt it burn his tongue, but he found he didn't care, the spark of pain helping him wake up.

He knew he didn't have much longer now, before he had to go back out and keep an eye on the passengers. 

There was no one there to hear him sigh.

The cup was nearly half empty when he placed it back down, tired eyes watching the dark liquid slosh back and forth from the motion of the train.

It'd been months now, since Raphael had started his new job, and he still felt that motion when he was lying in bed. It usually wasn't as noticeable, but certain parts of the tracks were worn from wear, and the cart jolted as it went over them.

With a grimace downed the rest of his coffee, straightened his waist coast and ran a hand over his gelled hair.

The air was more humid outside the kitchen, and he couldn't see much outside the windows except for darkness - and the occasional streaking light. 

The inside of Raphael's mouth was bitter, as he made his way into the closest compartment, the door opening with a quiet snick.

It was late at night, and the train was usually empty, but once again he noticed a familiar jacket.

Raphael contemplated him for a moment, as he ran his tongue over his front teeth. It looked like the same guy from the night before, and he must of gotten on when Raphael was taking his break. It shouldn't make him pause, but it does.

To this day Raphael still doesn't know was convinced him to take those last few steps until he was hovering beside the other. Maybe it was boredom, maybe it was just a stupid idea, or maybe it was the way the other was shaking - the skin under his eyes looking bruises and dark as he stared out the window.

He flinched when Raphael slid into the seat across from him, eyes darting around like he was caged in, before he seemed to calm down, throwing a considering look at Raphael.

For a moment Raphael wondered if he'd made a mistake.

"I love trains", the stranger rasped suddenly, his face lighting up with a smile. He looked like a different person when he did, and Raphael realized suddenly, just how young he was.

It almost sounded like he hadn't use his voice in a while.

"That makes one of us", Raphael replied drily, unable to stop himself. The other didn't look perturbed though, eyes distant as he turned to stare out the window again.

He was still shaking.

It made Raphael want to catch his attention again, like it'd anchor him back down.

"The train is usually empty at this time of the night", Raphael said, leaning his elbows against the table between them. It'd be hard for him to get back up after this, and he could already feel himself relaxing.

"Oh?", the other replied absentmindedly, though he turned to look at him, "I guess it would be".

Usually Raphael would of taken that as his cue to slip away, but something made him stay.

"It's nice to have someone else here actually", Raphael said, "it gets kind of boring after awhile, especially since the guy I worked with left".

The other boy perked up at that, looking at him head on for the first time. Raphael forced himself not to look away, shooting the other a small smile.

"What's it like though?", he asked, "working on the train? Do you just do night shifts or do you work during the day too? How long have you worked here?".

Raphael blinked in the face of the sudden outpouring of words from the others mouth, but quickly composed himself - he'd wanted the other to talk after all.

"Not as fun as it sounds, I've been here a few weeks and I mostly do night shifts", Raphael replied, "and it's usually empty so I'm left to my own thoughts - I'm Raphael by the way".

"Simon", the other replied, presenting his hand with a goofy grin that made Raphael's cheeks fill with colour. They both linger, but it's Simon who pulls away first, his own cheeks reddening.

"So it's not all it's made out to be?", Simon asked awkwardly, and Raphael snorted, because who made it out to be anything in the first place? Is there someone out there somewhere, extolling the virtues of working on a train during witching hours?

"Usually I just sit in the kitchen and eat the leftover food", Raphael joked, fist clenching when he saw the naked hunger that flashed across the others face. He'd tried to ignore just how drawn the other looked, but he could see it clearly now, and it made his chest hurt.

It also made this next part harder.

"I was actually thinking of doing that now, if you're interested", Raphael offered, which technically wasn't true, but the other looked like he needed it.

Simon looked like he wanted to brush it off, face twisting uncomfortably, but finally the hunger seemed to win out and he nodded. Raphael had to physically hold in his sigh of relief - he hadn't wanted to keep pushing the subject.

"Okay", Raphael said, as he hopped up from his seat, "stay here".

He ignored the others strained laughter as he made his way back to the kitchen. He suddenly didn't feel as tired anymore.

Raphael decided to make tea, leaving the teabags to steep as he sorted through the sandwiches.

None of them were near being out of date, so he settled on two chicken caesar salad wraps, praying the other wasn't a vegetarian as he peeled off the sell-by dates. He'd pay for them later.

Raphael cursed when he remembered the tea, pausing when he realized he didn't know if the other took sugar or milk. Or if he even drank tea.

The sound of Raphael's forehead hitting against the wall echoed through the room.

x

Simon had returned to staring at the window when Raphael re-entered the room.

He looked like he wanted to protest when he saw the tray Raphael was carrying, mouth opening and closing rapidly, before he let out a sigh.

"Hope you like chicken", Raphael said, as he gently placed the tray on the table. The other was still staring at him, having made no attempt to move.

“You didn’t have to go to all this effort”, Simon said, sounding embarrassed as he accepted the tea Raphael offered him.

“It’s fine”, Raphael said, smiling softly at the other, “it’s not often I have someone so cute to share food with”.

He hadn't meant to say that part aloud.

“Why do I doubt that”, Simon replied playfully, purposely letting his eyes move across Raphael’s face. He flirted with the ease of someone who did it often, confidently even, and it only made Raphael wonder more about him.

How had that boy ended up here, looking frail and haunted?

He ate with enthusiasm, and Raphael reigned in his expression, because he wasn’t sure when the other had his last meal.

Simon blushed when he saw Raphael watching him, wiping at the corner of his mouth with his sleeve.

“So how did a guy like you end up sharing this train with me?”, Simon asked, clearly trying to draw attention away from himself as he took a skip of scalding tea.

Raphael hid a smirk behind his sandwich as they other hissed and stuck his tongue out, face scrunching up in pain.

“It pays the bills”, Raphael said shrugging. The look the other shot him made him sigh, and put his food back down.

He stalled for a minute, using a tissue to clean his hands.

“Alright, I had a bit of an issue when I was younger and got into some fights that might have ended up on my record, which made it very hard to get a job”, Raphael explained, grimacing as he remembered, “they were desperate for someone to fill this shift and I knew the guy who used to work it so... what are you smiling at?”.

“Nothing”, Simon replied quickly, scratching at the stubble on his cheek, “you just don’t look like someone who’d get in a fight”.

Raphael rolled his eyes at that, though he wasn’t really that upset.

Silence settled over them again as they both finished off their food. Surprisingly it was Raphael who finished first. Simon looked like he was savoring the last few bites.

“You were right you know”, Raphael said, not sure what was prompting him to speak as Simon looked up curiously.

“I wasn’t really the type to get into fights, but I had five brothers and I was the oldest”, Raphael explained slowly, “so it was my job to look after them”.

“And that involved getting into fights?”, Simon asked, though there was nothing judgmental in his tone. It still made Raphael feel chastised.

“Sometimes”, Raphael replied honestly, dropping his gaze down to the cup clenched between his hands.

“Hey, I understand that”, Simon said, making Raphael glance up reluctantly, “I have a big sister”.

“Yeah?”, Raphael asked, unable to contain his enthusiasm. It was the first real bit of information the other had shared.

“Rebecca, she’s a handful!”, Simon said, laughter in his voice, “but she’s amazing”.

Raphael smiled softly as he listened to the other speak fondly of his sister and how smart she was.

It only made Raphael even more curious, because judging by the stories Simon had started to share, Rebecca would of happily looked after him. He looked like he needed someone to look after him.

‘ _And you want that to be you_?’, a small part of his brain whispered traitorously.

The story Simon was telling him was interrupted by his yawn.

“Sorry”, Simon murmured sleepily, rubbing at his nose. It drew Raphael’s gaze back to his eyes, heavy with fatigue underneath his glasses.

“Hey, I better get back to work, but you should probably take a nap”, Raphael suggested, not making eye contact with the other as he cleaned the table, “I can wake you up before your stop if you want”.

Simon looked like he wanted to protest, but once again his body won out, as another yawn shuck his body.

“End of the line”, Simon replied, smiling gratefully at him as Raphael finished cleaning up.

“See you in a bit, Simon”, Raphael replied, reigning in the urge to brush the others disheveled fringe back from his face, as Simon leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes.

With one last glance Raphael turned and left the room, the door closing behind with a soft snick, the same way it had when he’d entered the room.

He’d spend the rest of his shift thinking about tired brown eyes.

x

He didn't see Simon again that night, had gotten caught helping an older lady take her luggage off the train, and when he went back Simon was gone.

The lurch of disappointment he’d felt was almost painful.

A week had passed since then, and every night Raphael had hopefully trekked up and down the train, hoping to see a familiar face.

He’d just given up, wrapping himself up in the monotony of his job, when he saw him again.

Raphael discarded his trolley to make his way down to the other, sliding into the seat across from him without thinking.

Simon looked worse for wear, jacket dripping wet and fringe stuck to his forehead from the rain outside.

He smiled when he saw Raphael though, and it broke his heart.

“Hey, ever heard of an umbrella”, Raphael chastised, unable to contain his worry. The other didn’t seem to mind his tone, lips twitching upwards with mirth.

“Sorry mom, I didn’t think the skies would open up on my way here”, Simon joked, voice so light you wouldn’t guess he was currently sticking to the seat underneath him.

“Let me get you something, a towel at least”, Raphael said, already up and out of his chair before Simon could say anything.

When he got back Simon was in exactly the same position as before, though there was a puddle starting to form on the table as water dripped down from his hair.

Without thinking Raphael placed the towel on his head, and rubbed with a vigor that spoke of five younger brothers.

He flushed when he realized what he was doing, grip loosening as Simon peeked up at him from behind the terry cloth.

“Um, yeah”, Raphael stuttered, unsure what to say as he jumped back several feet, hovering by the table as Simon finished drying his hair.

Raphael was pretty sure Simon was smirking under that towel, sliding into his previous seat with a huff.

“So where were you?”, Raphael asked, unable to keep the petulant tone from his voice as they other finished drying his hair.

Raphael had truly thought he’d never see him again.

“I was saving up to afford another ticket”, Simon replied, trying to flatten the mess that was now his hair. Raphael thought it looked soft.

“You must like trains a lot huh?”, Raphael asked absentmindedly, though he was happy to see the other again.

“Hm? Oh I guess the train part is good too”, Simon replied, something unspoken in his words as he eyed the other boy.

Raphael felt himself flush.

They talked about nothing and everything, never broaching anything too close to personal, though Raphael learned that Simon was from Brooklyn - and wondered what he was doing so far from home.

It was unprofessional of him, but Raphael found himself spending the rest of the trip talking to the other.

When he realized the next stop was the last, he felt his heart skip a beat, because when would he see the other again? If ever?

“Hey”, Raphael said, interrupting the others tirade about his favourite Nicolas Cage movie, “do you live down here?”.

 

Simon’s face fell as he heard the other’s question, suddenly looking closed off as he scratched at the table.

“No”, Simon said, “I usually get the bus back to the first stop, it’s um, cheaper”.

He looked embarrassed now, like he realized he’d over-shared.

“I was just thinking, you could stay for the trip back”, Raphael said quickly, not giving Simon time to interject as he continued speaking, “I mean I could use the company, free of charge”.

Simon looked like he really wanted to say no, but Raphael shot him a pleading look.

The thought of the other sitting in his wet clothes on a dark bus made Raphael’s stomach churn.

“It’s fine, really”, Raphael said, “you can have another nap while I go check on everything”.

Simon snorted at that, running a hand over his face as he closed his eyes. Raphael was pleased when he nodded, burying his face into his crossed arms.

He didn’t disturb the other for the rest of the trip, occasionally coming back to glance into the carriage.

The other had clearly been tired, and Raphael was happy to watch over him while he caught up on some rest.

He finally had to wake him up though, as they drew back to Raphael’s stop, because he didn’t know which one Simon got on at, and this was the last stop.

“Hey”, Raphael said, slowly shaking the other awake, armed with tea.

He nearly split it when Simon jerked awake, looking frightened for a moment before he saw Raphael hovering worriedly beside him.

“It’s my stop”, Raphael explained, handing him the tea.

He worried Simon wouldn’t accept it for a moment as he realized where they were, eyes narrowing as he realized Raphael had let him sleep the entire time.

“That was sneaky”, Simon accused, though there was no heat in his words as he reluctantly accepted the tea.

He was a bit slower to move from his seat.

He followed Raphael back to the kitchen, watching as Raphael took off his apron and pulled on his leather jacket, grabbing his own wallet from the safe.

Simon said nothing about his choice of clothes, and Raphael was glad for that.

Most people liked to tease him for his expensive taste in clothes, which clashed with his budget, but they were the one luxury Raphael allowed himself.

The rest of his money went home to his mother, and Raphael was okay with that.

x 

The sun was starting to rise in the sky as they stepped out on to the platform.

Simon was a silent ghost behind him, as he shouted goodbye to the man behind the desk of the station ticket booth.

They both awkwardly stopped outside the train station, looking at each other.

Both of them knew Simon needed directions to the closest bus stop, but Raphael decided to push his luck.

“How about you walk me home?”, Raphael asked, chewing nervously on his bottom lip. He hadn’t meant it to sound so inviting.

Simon didn’t seem to mind so much, throwing a look around before he smiled and nodded.

“Got to make sure you get home safe”, Simon said, and Raphael wanted to argue that because he walked himself home every night, but he decided against it.

The streets were mostly empty this early in the morning, but he could see some people shooting them suspicious looks, wondering where the boy in the wet clothes and the boy in the leather jacket were going.

Raphael’s apartment was above a for sale shop.

It was small, and slightly dingy, but the rent was cheap enough, and the woman who owed it wasn’t the strictest when it came to payment due dates.

“Would you um, like to come upstairs?”, Raphael asked as they came to stop outside his apartment.

It was bad enough showing a total stranger where he lived, but inviting him inside? His mama would kill him if she could see him now.

Raphael tried to hide his nervousness as Simon surveyed him, looking both curious and confused.

“I mean, I could give you a change of clothes”, Raphael said, bashfully playing with the sleeve of his jacket.

“You bring a lot of strange train people back to your home?”, Simon asked playfully, making no indication to move. Raphael took that as a prompt to slide his key into the door.

As always it required a shove to open up.

Simon followed him up the darkened steps curiously, muttering an apology when he bumped into Raphael as he went to open the apartment door.

It was a small room, with an open plan kitchen and sitting room, the two doors at the other ending leading to the single bedroom and bathroom.

It wasn’t much but it was Raphael’s, and he afforded it through his own means.

Simon discarded his cup in the bin, following Raphael into the sitting room as he looked around curiously.

“Home sweet home”, Raphael murmured, shrugging off his jacket and throwing it over the back of the couch.

“Here, let me get you some clothes so you can change”, Raphael said, leaving Simon staring at the photos on the wall as he escaped into his bedroom.

They were about the same height, though Simon had an inch or two on him, but the other was definitely skinnier. It made Raphael want to feed him and god, if he wasn't turning into his mother.

Shaking his head, Raphael grabbed one of his older shirts, a hoodie that had long grown too small on him, and a pair of jeans.

He paused for a moment as he looked at his clothes drawers, before grabbing socks and underwear as well. He shoved those under the pile.

Simon was still standing where he’d left him, smiling at a photo from Raphael’s tenth birthday.

“Is that your mother?”, Simon asked, pointing at the woman who had her arms wrapped around Raphael’s shoulders, a proud smile on her face.

“Yeah”, Raphael said, softly placing the pile down on the coffee table, as he too turned to smile at the photo.

“I can see where you get your looks”, Simon murmured absentmindedly, not seeing the way Raphael’s cheeks flushed at the compliment. His mother was a beautiful woman.

“You can change in the bathroom”, Raphael said, coughing to cover his nervousness.

Simon didn’t comment on his flush cheeks as he smiled and disappeared into the bathroom.

Raphael waited until the door closed before he flopped face onto the couch, muffling his groan in a pillow.

He made a split second decision to get a spare pillow and a blanket from the press, putting them down on the couch and waiting for the other to come back.

Simon was slow coming out of the bathroom, playing with the hem of the baby blue t-shirt Raphael had given him.

To his immense relief Simon didn’t look too skinny, though there was an alarming brush peeking out from where he’d draped the hoodie over his arm.

“Hey, thanks for the clothes”, Simon said, trailing off when he saw the mound sitting beside Raphael.

“I just thought, seeing as you’re here already and your shoes are wet”, Raphael explained, sounding stupid even to his own ears at he gestured at the pile.

Simon looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to stay”, Raphael said, shooting up from the couch, “I just thought...”.

Raphael ran a hand over his face, tiredness seeping into his bones as he tried to hide himself from the others expression for a moment.

“I guess that’d be handy”, Simon said, clearing his throat awkwardly.

Raphael hid his urge to fist pump.

“Okay, well I’ll be in my bedroom if you need anything”, Raphael said, escaping the situation before he really embarrassed himself. More than he already had.

Raphael slumped against the door once it closed behind him, letting a sigh escape him.

He didn’t bother changing from his work clothes, just kicked his shoes off and collapsed face first on to his mattress.

His last thoughts were of the boy spending the night on his couch.

x

Simon wasn’t there when he woke up the next morning, the only trace he'd even been there was a note he left stuck to the fridge.

‘ _Thanks for everything, Raphael_ ’.

x

Raphael’s thoughts were consumed with the other boy, as he spent the following weeks worrying over where he was.

It wasn’t hard to tell that Simon had fallen on hard times and Raphael just prayed he had somewhere safe to lay his head at night.

He didn’t give up hope on seeing the other boy though, checking the train every night for familiar brown eyes.

Raphael felt like he’d found a part of himself, and now it was missing.

He'd even told his mother about the other boy, over the phone, and she'd promised him, if it was meant to be, he'd see him again.

His mama always knew what to say.

A month would pass before he’d see Simon again, except this time round it was because he was knocking on his door.

Raphael didn't think as he ushered him inside and up the stairs.

Simon looked even worse than last time, hair wild and eyes bloodshot behind his glasses. He shakes in Raphael’s grip as he helps him sit on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go”, Simon confessed, voice rasping.

Raphael shushed him, wrapping an arm around him as he tried to hold in his tremors.

“I’m sorry”, Simon said, covering his face with his hands.

Raphael didn’t try to pry them away as he spoke, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his back.

“How about you have a shower and I get you a change of clothes and something to eat”, Raphael suggested, helping the other stand and make his way into the bathroom.

He contemplated helping him undress but thought better of it, leaving him alone after he explained how the shower worked.

He couldn’t ignore the gratitude in Simon’s eyes.

He busied himself with grabbing some clothes from his room, and set about making a simple meal. It looked like the other hadn’t eaten in a while and he didn’t want to make him sick.

Simon looked marginally better when he stuck his head out the door, arm bare as peeked out at Raphael, before he saw the pile sitting neatly by the door.

This time when he emerged he was dressed, looking sheepish, but noticeably less drawn.

“Hey, I made food”, Raphael called, gesturing to the table as Simon shyly made his way closer. He looked like he regretted being here already, like his presence was a burden.

Raphael did his best to reassure him, putting on his best smile as he told the other stories about work.

Some of them were wildly exaggerated, but it was worth it to see Simon laugh.

They both quietened down as they finished eating, and Simon helped him clean up, even when Raphael protested.

They moved naturally around each other, even in the cramped kitchen.

Simon’s hand brushed against his side at one point, and Raphael felt his chest tighten at the touch, but the other didn’t seem to notice.

Now wasn't the time for that.

Simon finally told him what happened, as they sat down on the couch.

He explained how he’d gotten a few different jobs, doing bits and pieces, but how most of them had fallen through and he’d ended up sleeping on the street and running out of money.

Raphael did his best to keep the pity off his face, because he didn’t want to make the other feel bad, but he couldn’t help the sadness that washed over him as Simon told him what happened.

His resolve strengthened as he decided to speak.

“There’s an opening on the train”, Raphael said, not bothering to hide his intentions, “they need someone to cover the night shift with me and I could vouch for you”.

Simon shuck his head, looking ready to protest, but Raphael wouldn’t let him escape so easily.

“It’s fine”, Raphael said, “you can stay here until you get back on your feet”.

“You’ve done too much for me already”, Simon protested, getting up from the couch, but Raphael stopped him before he could move, bringing them face to face. God, he was pretty.

“It’s fine”, Raphael said, stressing the word.

Simon still shuck his head, but Raphael could see him deflate, looking tired and weak now.

It made Raphael take his hand and lead him into his bedroom.

Simon was half asleep already as Raphael pushed him down on the bed. Raphael knew that because otherwise the other would of kicked up a fuss about hogging his bed. Or when Raphael slid his glasses off his face.

Raphael didn’t think anything of it as he slid under the covers beside the other.

Simon looked years younger as he slept, and Raphael wondered again what he was doing in this situation, but he decided not to push until Simon opened up to him – and Raphael planned to be around until then.

Simon rolled closer to him in his sleep, pressing his face into Raphael’s neck as he slid an arm around his waist.

Raphael didn’t bother pushing him away, instead he closed his eyes and let himself fall under too.

He knew his alarm would wake him a few hours and he’d have to get ready for work, but Raphael decided he’d worry about that later, as he fell asleep for the first time in Simon’s arms.

Little did he know those would be the arms he’d spend the rest of his life waking up in.

All because he talked to the boy with the tired brown eyes on the train.

**Author's Note:**

> so i've really been struggling with writing lately, and i also kind of hate this, but i decided to post it anyone! you can find this on tumblr too ( i made a moodboard haha)


End file.
